The Pipe Bomb #5: Fanboys

While it isn’t wrong to be a fan or support certain games, companies or even consoles in the video game industry, being a fanboy just takes brand warfare behind the woodshed and pulls an Old Yeller faster than The Flash.

No matter where you go, whether it’s YouTube, Twitter, or out to your local game store, you’ll run into a fanboy or two along the way and just wish you could 12-gauge them for trying to push their interests on you, even though you support a different brand and for legitimate reasons nonetheless.

Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony, amongst other companies have their supporters, and amongst the legitimate supporters come the virus known as “fanboy-ism” and it spreads like the T-Virus, thus creating massive zombie fanboys who defend a company, even when they’re in the wrong and everyone can blindly see it. I’m surprised if Capcom has any fans after the collection of festering shit they’ve done to piss customers off, which I compiled in Pipe Bomb #2.

I’ve never claimed myself to be a fanboy of anything. I’m more of a fan who knows when a console or game series is good or when it’s complete shit. Hell, while I like the Assassin’s Creed series, I thought Revelations wasn’t up to par because of the lack of interesting side activities, and the activities included couldn’t keep a hyperactive 12-year-old with ADD interested. While the story was a good conclusion to Ezio’s legacy, it felt bogged down by uninteresting side activities.

While I just recently got my PS4, I will say that the lack of games is a definite negative, so does that make me a Microsoft fanboy automatically because I’m pointing out something wrong with the PS4? Hell no, it makes me logical. I will say the last generation, I showed no bias, because I played both systems, and I came out with the conclusion that I never should’ve touched the 360 because of the paid online service and lack of exclusives.

Even though people didn’t give the Wii-U much of a chance in hell, it’s picked up some steam, and Nintendo made up their lack of Wii-U sales, despite their impressive launch lineup, with the handheld sales of the 3DS and their other handhelds. Even Nintendo has fans and fanboys, even if the majority of the industry wants nothing to do with them, they’re also both innocent and guilty of being fanboys, depending on who you ask, and what their reasoning is.

Now while I, and many others like me play various types of games, the Call Of Duty/Battlefield fanboys literally make me want to lock myself in a padded room with a straitjacket on. For anyone who likes Call Of Duty/Battlefield for the right reasons (if you can find any), this isn’t towards you, this is toward the twits who defend either game, despite us logical gamers telling them it’s the same shit in a different toilet per se. If you want a campaign with super soldiers, go watch a Schwarzenegger flick from the 80s (I.E. Commando). I played the good COD games, which took place in World War II, not these cut and paste “stop World War III-esque” plots that come an inch short of a Michael Bay film on steroids.

Multiplayer is a whole other story. Since the days of MW2, multiplayer has been complete and utter garbage to some, even though I gave it a chance every time for that social interaction with others. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered how much the multiplayer has been copy and pasted shit, yet people still defend it saying there’s changes. No. Example, one of the DLC maps in BO II, Studio, was a copy and paste version of Firing Range from BO I. David Vonderhaar could wear an “I’m with stupid” t-shirt and either play his own game with the MLG ass kissers or by himself and he’d still be stupid for saying Studio is a new map, even though it’s a clear re-skin because Treyarch is full of lazy fat asses who use $100 bills as moist towelettes.

See, the real difference between a fan and a fanboy is simple. A fan knows when his/her favorite series/console is shit while a fanboy defends anything they support no matter what and use third-grade excuses to defend themselves from the logical thought.

At the end of the line, fanboys are spreading faster than the outbreak of 28 Days Later while trying to kill off any logical thought and sense in the gaming community and industry, thus leaving survivors slim to none and outnumbered. The real gamers need to unite to stop the virus from spreading any further. To any fanboy, you’ve just ben delivered a Hiroshima-sized pipe bomb.